Admitted

Quick update -

Thank you all so much for your prayers.  God has certainly blessed us over the past few hours.

Our initial ER doc was... not a great listener.  He got the ball rolling with urology, but didn't hear us that we had other concerns - namely her pain and digestion.  Urology is planning to do a procedure to help Katie's right kidney drain properly (a tumor is pressing on one of tubes).  This could be done outpatient, but since we're here, they would 'admit for observation', which is different than admitting to he hospital proper.  They would do the procedure, make sure it worked, then send her on her way. This is where God apparently decided to step in.

Katie happened to notice the doctor who had treated her when we came to the ER back in February roaming outside her ER room (Dr. C, if you recall from my first post).  I didn't mention at the time that she was a real source of hope and peace.  Back in February, when I brought Katie in, she was in rough shape - vomiting and writhing in extreme pain, and we had taken a leap of faith by coming to MDA without having been a prior patient there.  By all rights, MDA could have told Hermann that Katie was their problem and they needed to fix her.  Within about 2 minutes of meeting us, she assured us that they had seen Kate's symptoms hundreds of times and are able and ready to help.  Later, when it was still in question about whether Katie would be allowed to stay at MDA after they'd stabilized her, Dr. C stopped in to mention casually that patients have the right to refuse transfer, which we did.

So when we saw her this evening, we flagged her down to thank her for all she did for us back then, with no other agenda.  She asked how Katie was doing and began to ask more pointed medical questions.  Within a couple minutes, she decided to place orders for a CT scan without contrast ( because Katie couldn't possibly drink that stuff right now) to check for a blockage.  She also placed an order for a nutritionist to meet with us in the morning, she added a few medications to Katie's approved list, and she gave us her card with her direct line.  As she was leaving, she assured us that she'd be praying for us.

Apparently God was just warming up.

Katie was transferred to her room in the hospital.  We expected the same kind of room as before, but this room is much nicer - more recently renovated it seems.  I get an actual real live bed to sleep in (its a murphy bed) instead of a chair that folds flat and spends all night mocking your back with false hopes of comfortable sleep.  The room is quieter and better laid out than our February room.  The nursing staff is very nice, and many of them are Catholic.

And now for the kicker.

After getting settled, I went out to the car to get my pillow and blankets (I had run home to tuck the kids in and had gotten some stuff).  I was also meeting our good friend Tricia who was delivering some holy water and St. Peregrine oil.  We chatted as I walked to the car and back, and while we were finishing our conversation in the hospital lobby, we spotted a Catholic priest walking out.  I flagged him down and asked if he had time to give Katie a blessing.  He agreed cheerfully.  On the way, assuming he was the chaplain assigned to MDA, I asked if perhaps he could come back the next day for the Anointing of the Sick.  The sacrament requires a couple things that (to my knowledge) most priests don't carry around with them all the time - The Holy Eucharist and Anointing Oil.  He said, "I do now.  I have the Lord with me."  Turns out he's not the chaplain here - he was visiting a friend who is dying.  He performed the sacrament and Katie and I were both able to receive the Eucharist.  What a blessing and source of strength.

The CT scan was performed this evening, and we'll get results tomorrow.

Thank you again for your prayers.  Please continue, and may God's blessings be on you.

Back In The U.S., Back In The U.S., Back in the U.S. ER

Merry Christmas!  We hope that everyone had an amazing weekend filled with family and celebrating the birth of our Lord.  

We’d like to keep you updated with what’s going on with us.  We didn’t mention Katie’s symptoms last time, so now might be a good time to fill you in as background to where we are now (which is the ER - more on that later). 

Katie started to notice some abdominal pain and decreased appetite in late October, which set us off on a journey to find the cause.  Of course our first fear was cancer so we spoke to the oncologist, who didn’t think it looked like cancer based on her symptoms and the clear scan she had in September.  Over the next few weeks, her symptoms continued to worsen - more abdominal pain, decreased appetite, nerve pain, back pain.  The weekend after Thanksgiving, she was in a lot of pain and wasn’t able to move from the chair in the den except to go to bed or the bathroom.  We went to see a gastroenterologist, her OB, and a neurologist.  The GI doc ordered a study to see if her intestines were working properly (they were), the OB ordered an ultrasound (it was clear), and the neurologist found evidence of nerve damage and nerve pain and ordered an MRI to get a better look at her nerves and rule out recurrence of her cancer.  The MRI found “a 4.5 cm cystic mass” in her abdomen near the site of the original surgery.  With these results, the neurologist referred us back to our oncologist, who ordered a CT scan, which showed the results I mentioned last time - tumors in her abdomen, and small tumors in her lungs and liver, which is defined as Stage IV metastatic appendiceal cancer.

Since Thanksgiving, Katie has basically been unable to do much except sit in the chair in the den, and walk to the bed or the bathroom.  Her pain has continued to increase, though some of the pain meds the doctors have prescribed help some.  

We met with the surgeon, pain doc, and oncologist last week.  The surgeon said that she doesn’t recommend surgery, but she wants us to meet with a surgeon who specializes in Appendiceal cancer to confirm.   The pain doc prescribed some new pain medication, which makes her pretty sleepy and doesn’t help much.  The oncologist wanted her to start chemo on Thursday Dec 29 (FOLFIRI, or perhaps just the FIRI, which is irinotecan). 

Since we found out that it is cancer, Katie has been trying to eat more and get stronger in preparation for chemo.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked out that way.  She has been struggling to eat, but over Christmas she hit a wall.  She’s been unable to eat many calories at all for the past few days, the pain has continued to increase, and her digestion isn’t where it needs to be.  There are other symptoms, but the net of it is that we brought her in to the ER today to get her symptoms under control and see what we can do to get her on a path to being strong enough for chemo.  As Kate said: “We have to get the symptoms of cancer under control before we can worry about the side effects from chemo”.

Thank you all so much for your prayers - please continue.  Please pray for Katie - for relief from her symptoms and for a clear path towards getting stronger so she can fight this disease.  Please pray for our children, our family who is taking care of the kids, and for me.  

We love you, and may God bless you this Christmas season.  

Hard News

There’s no easy way to share this, or if there is, we haven’t found it.  We’ve been calling our family for the past day to tell them, and saying the words doesn’t get any easier no matter how many times you tell them.  If you are finding out here and think we should have called you instead, please accept our apology.

Katie’s cancer has returned, and it has spread.  There is a large (4-5cm) tumor in her lower right abdomen, and they see a few spots in both the liver and lungs.  I may go into how it was discovered in a later post, but for now it’s not important.  

We found out Friday morning and are scheduled to meet with a number of doctors this week to better understand what we’re dealing with and develop a game plan.  The big appointments are the surgeon on Monday and the oncologist on Thursday.  I expect to have additional information to share after each of those.  When he called to give us the news Friday,  the oncologist mentioned chemotherapy as a certainty and that there may be other non-surgical therapies to explore as well.  

Our family is rallying around us, and I’m sure many of you will be asking how you can help.  Thank you in advance.  I’m sure there will be a time when we ask for your help in more concrete ways, but for now the biggest thing you can do is pray.  

Please pray that God heals her by whatever means He chooses.  Pray for her strength to battle this disease and to approach each day with hope.  Pray for the wisdom and compassion of her doctors and all medical staff who treat her.  Pray for our children.  Pray for our parents, siblings, and extended family.  And please pray for me - I’ll need all the prayers I can get.  

Earlier this year, we were overwhelmed by your generosity in time, in prayers, and in sharing your treasure with us.  Some of you specifically mentioned that you hoped we could use some of the money for a family trip after chemo, and we were able to do just that.  In mid October, we spent a week in Yosemite National Park, California.  We chose Yosemite in part because it is close to my sister and her family, who live outside of San Francisco.  We had initially planned to spend a couple days with them and then go to Yosemite, but decided instead for them to come join us in Yosemite for a couple nights.  It was amazing.  If you haven't been, you should put it on your list.  It is the most beautiful place I've ever visited, and I imagine it's got to be top 5 in the world.  I've included a small handful of photos from that trip at the bottom.  Thank you so much for giving our family that gift.  

We’d also like to share with you some words that Katie wrote recently.  This was mostly written before we received word that her cancer had returned and spread, but we think it still applies, perhaps now more than before.  

- David

----------------------

This was actually going to be our Christmas letter, but as it turns out, I don’t think I’ll have time to mail it out, given our recent circumstances.  

To say that we are incredibly blessed and filled with gratitude is the understatement of the century.

Here’s some recent history.  In September of 2015, part of our roof failed, and our house flooded.  In November, after we had just gotten back in the house, David’s car was totaled by an uninsured motorist.  In February 2016, Katie was diagnosed with stage III appendiceal cancer.  It’s so rare, that spell check assumes the word is misspelled.  

We didn’t mention the house flooding to many in the past, or the totaled car.  But I mention it now. I bring it up to let you know how rough life can be.  We’ve been through the ringer. The other day David said “If we knew 10 years ago what we know now (changes in jobs, cars, 4 kids in 5 years, and everything else), we never would have A. believed that would be possible, and B. that we would have survived it.  But lo and behold, we are here.

Advent and Christmas are my favorite time of year.  It is the beginning of the most important time in our history.  It allowed us to hope.  It opened the way of our salvation.  Stay alert!  Be ready!  Our God is coming to save us!  Such strong words - It’s no wonder people expected Christ to come as a warrior ready to act.  And yet, and yet, he came to us so humbly and quietly. 

Life is such a gift - I know we hear that all the time, but our lives are held in existence because God is continually holding us in existence - his love is what keeps us here, it’s what gives us eternity, and it’s his love that gave us his only Son.  

Advent offers us joy in the midst of a penitential season.  Have you ever thought of that?  We have Gaudete Sunday in the middle of a time in the Church when she is asking you to offer some things up.  For we cannot experience joy without the struggle.

Stay alert!  Be ready!  It’s no surprise that a cancer diagnosis was a major blow.  And here we are again - begging for God’s grace and healing.  We have to continue to believe that God gives us what we need and more.  His generosity will not, can not be outdone.  He showered us with generosity through you - through your prayers, your donations, your meals, your words of wisdom, your embrace.  We are asking you once again, to cover our family in prayer.  As we celebrate the birth of Christ, let us be filled with hope - hope that I am healed, but more importantly hope that God’s will is fulfilled.  Come Holy Spirit, Thy will be done.  That is my prayer.

The results are in!

The scan was clear!  This chapter is closed.  Thanking God and thanking y'all.

Peace and love,
Kate and David

TRUST IN GOD, THE GIFT OF HINDSIGHT, AND THE UNIVERSAL SHIFT

First an update and then some reflection.  6 months of chemo done!  12 out of 12!  There was never a delay, we met the most amazing staff at MDA, and are crossing that finish line!  We disconnect on Thursday.  I rang the bell today at MDA and became quite emotional.  What a gift to ring that bell and begin to close this chapter of my life!  There’s much to process, but one thing that continually stands out in my mind is I am honored, humbled, and privileged with the task of taking you and your prayer intentions on this journey.  Every day I carried this particular cross, I took your intentions and packed them on my shoulders.  I asked God to bless us all in our struggles, bring healing to us, and to let us know His presence.

Some have asked me what my reaction was to a cancer diagnosis.  Well, if we are being honest here, I’ve had my share of surprise pregnancies, so a surprising cancer diagnosis, while very shocking, was perhaps a little tempered by my previous surprises.  I say it was tempered, because God has continually shown us the power of our trust in him.  When we got pregnant with our first, we didn’t have pregnancy-covered insurance.  Surprise - we got it 1/2 way through the pregnancy, and boy did we need it - John was an expensive little tyke.  When we got pregnant with our fourth (surprise again!) I was shocked and concerned.  4 kids in 5 years, who does that and how do parents survive it?  These many months later, we have a 21-mo-old Andrew who is a remarkable boy - happy and a delight to be around.  The older kids love him and dote on him.  In many ways, he is a glue for our family.  If we didn’t have him, how would life be different?

God has shown us time and time again that his hand is in our lives, guiding us, guarding us.  Our children are just one example of that.  Even with the cancer diagnosis, I knew He was going to take care of us, no matter where it took us, even if it meant the end of my life here on earth.  

I am thankful (I know I use the word a lot) for how the diagnosis came about and the events that followed. We first heard that the tumor was cancerous from our less than verbose and detached surgeon on the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, which was also the day after Ash Wednesday.  After finding out, I immediately thought it was going to be one hell of a Lent, but I knew we could count on the intercession of Our Lady and found comfort that we found out on her day.  

After a hospital dismissal, and sharing the news with immediate family and some dear prayer warriors, we realized I had to be readmitted.  We chose the MD Anderson Emergency Room at the encouragement of a man who was only known by my sister-in-law, but would become my oncologist (unbenknowst to us, he was a saving grace to us during this entire process).  Late that night in the ER, I had my first CT scan.  And were soon told after that they could not find any cancer in my body.  The first time I happened to see the images of that scan was a month ago.  At our appointment with our oncologist, David said, “Those are supposed to be small intestines?”  

The silver lining is, if I hadn’t had the bowel blockage as a result of the first surgery, I would have had to wait to get into MDA, wait for a scan, and would have been toiling in anxiety.  But God granted us comfort that night, less than 24 hours after the diagnosis, with the knowledge that the scans showed no more cancer.  This gave me the opportunity to focus on just the bowel blockage, and not worry about what came next regarding cancer.  Also, unbeknownst to us at the time, I would have needed a second surgery anyway, so it was perfect that I had it when I did - that way I could recover sooner, and start chemo sooner.  And in spite of my ballooned mess of intestines, I didn’t need an ostomy bag, news that surprised even the doctors.

Whenever we get pregnant and have a baby, I have this thought of the universe shifting.  Let me try to put it in words for you.  Something is new, someone is here, a great and powerful change has occurred; the earth made room for one more life.  God allowed another soul to be part of our lives.  Everything is altered and we can’t go back to the way life was before.   There is a similarity with cancer.  You change, life changes, and it becomes part of your history - it changes your perspective.  In these great shifts of life, we can accept with joy the new realities we face when we seek God in the midst of it.

I write all of this out to remind me and tell you that hindsight is a gift - we can see God working in our lives if we let him.  I have this image of me walking down a road.  Before me is a country dirt road - kind of like the road to Grandma and Popems' lake house.  As I’m walking, I turn around every now and again.  Every time I look behind me I see a new crop of flowers pop up.  I walk some more and am sometimes unsure of what path to take, but look behind again, and I see the beauty of following His will.  It gives me confidence and courage to keep pressing on.  It’s hard to see the fruits in our lives unless we look back on the past and see our Master Gardener and his will coming to fruition.  

Onward to Heaven, brothers and sisters!

Find joy in the midst of rainy days, right Andrew?

- Kate wrote this.  Not David, in spite of what it says at the bottom of this post.  Kate is not tech-savvy enough to change it.

Finally, (if you didn’t see it on FB) we will be starting a novena tomorrow (8/31) to St. Peregrine that will end the day before my scan on Friday, September 9th.  We would be honored if you followed along.  

St. Peregrine is the Patron Saint of Cancer Patients.

St. Peregrine was known for his holiness but also for a miraculous healing that he received.

He was scheduled to have his leg amputated because of a cancerous growth. The night before the surgery, he prayed for healing, received a vision of Christ coming down from the cross to touch his leg and was completely healed.

St. Peregrine Novena Prayers

Dear holy servant of God, St. Peregrine, we pray today for healing.

Intercede for us! God healed you of cancer and others were healed by your prayers. Please pray for the physical healing of…

Kate - that the cancer is completely gone from her body never to surface again.

These intentions bring us to our knees seeking your intercession for healing.

We are humbled by our physical limitations and ailments. We are so weak and so powerless. We are completely dependent upon God. And so, we ask that you pray for us…

Day 1 – Pray for us, that we will not let sickness bring us to despair

Day 2 – Pray for us, that we may persevere in hope

Day 3 – Pray for us, that we will have the courage to offer up our suffering in unity with the Cross

Day 4 – Pray for us, that the loneliness of our suffering will be consoled

Day 5 – Pray for us, that the fear of death will be replaced with the hope of everlasting life

Day 6 – Pray for us, that our suffering will not rob us of joy

Day 7 – Pray for us, that in our pain we will not become selfish but ever more selfless

Day 8 – Pray for us, that this sickness will teach me to depend more and more on God

Day 9 – Pray for us, that our lives will glorify God alone

We know, St. Peregrine, that you are a powerful intercessor because your life was completely given to God. We know that in as much as you pray for our healing, you are praying even more for our salvation.

A life of holiness like yours is more important that a life free of suffering and disease. Pray for our healing, but pray even more that we might come as close to Our Lord as you are.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

The Talent of Cancer

I can't believe it's been since April since I've posted!  Time has flown with the end of the school year, the start of summer, and all other details that life entails.

God gives us all talents, gifts, abilities.  I have a friend whose at a training conference right now.  At the end of her day, they asked her to write 10 qualities of her greatness.  What a challenge.  Do we spend enough time reflecting on what makes us great?  If we know what our qualifiers are, can we then serve God that much greater knowing what he has given us?

A few weeks ago, I was thinking of the parable of the talents.

“For it will be as when a man going on a journey called his servants and entrusted to them his property; to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them; and he made five talents more. So also, he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not winnow; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sowed, and gather where I have not winnowed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to every one who has will more be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.’” - Matthew 25: 14-30

Cancer became a part of my life, in a sense, a talent.  It was up to me to decide what to do with it.  Do I bury it, become afraid and bitter?  Do I use it?  How do I use it? 

I know a lot of you who will read this are dealing with so much in your lives, yucky marriages, GBS, Crohn’s disease, miscarriage, infertility, stillbirth, Lupus, loss of a family member, depression, waiting for a spouse, financial issues, family issues, difficult or unplanned pregnancies.  These are just a few things that I know some of y’all are going through.  

How do we turn these into talents?  How can we bless them, multiply them, and make five talents more?  We can use anything that comes our way for God’s glory.

I became aware of, and consequently fell in love with the virtue of universal mortification/redemptive suffering freshman year of college.  When we can answer the question why is there suffering in this world, and what we do with it, life takes on a new dimension.  It gives us an opportunity to attach meaning to it - it makes life worth living.  When I discovered the virtue, it became a crux of my spiritual life - offering up my piddly sufferings for the sake of my salvation, my family’s salvation and the world’s.  Since February, the severe pain that I was in, and the uncomfortable side effects of chemo, I’ve had an opportunity to offer up my suffering for you.  

I was browsing though my alumni magazine and saw that Jeff Cavins had written a new book: When You Suffer.  It does a beautiful job explaining suffering and what we can do with it. I want to say more about the book, but Jeff does such a better job, so here’s a link to his book and a great video of him talking about it. It’s been a comfort and an eye-opener.

As for an update on what’s physically going on: Round 5 I had an allergic reaction to oxaliplatin - that’s the one that’s pretty toxic.  Most people have a reaction around round 8, but Christmas came early for me.  It was solved with lots of benadryl and hydrocortisone.  Luckily, I didn’t need epinephrine.  As a result of that reaction, I will no longer receive oxaliplatin.  The 5-FU is far and away the more important drug.  The new protocol is that I still go in every other Tuesday, get my pre-drugs: 2 nausea blockers and an immune boosting steroid, then I get hooked up to the 5-FU and carry around my handy dandy chemo in a fanny pack for 2 days.  David disconnects at home 46 hours after the start of infusion, and then I’m free again!  These days the nausea is pretty much under control and my biggest complaints are some minor hair thinning, chemo taste, fatigue, and side effects from the steroid.  I still have neuropathy from the oxali, too, but that will go away eventually.  Not too bad, all things considered.

I’ll end this post by going back to the first paragraph: what are 10 qualifiers that make you great?  Let me add cancer to my own list, for if I use it for God’s glory, it is great indeed.

New Normal

It’s been a while since we’ve updated the vast majority of people who have been such an amazing support and group of prayer warriors.  Without further ado, here’s what our daily lives have looked like.  After I made it out of the hospital (Big yay!), we were able to find a nanny to help us around the house from mid March to mid April.  By that time I was able to lift my babies, do housework, and act like life was mostly back to normal.  Your generous donations enabled us to hire her and help our family out.

Since chemo started, life has worked itself into a new schedule.  Non chemo weeks are great - I feel mostly normal and life looks very much like it did before we knew about the cancer.  Chemo weeks are rougher.  Our moms have been amazing.  They handle the kids on the week of chemo and leave me to rest through it.  Currently I am receiving the third treatment - the dose will be finished at 3pm today.  The biggest complaints are nausea, fatigue, numbness, tingling of fingers and toes, and an inability to tolerate anything cold.  These symptoms last until Friday or Saturday and then begin to taper off.  It’s a strange time of life, but we are grateful for an excellent oncologist and staff at MDA, and for really good medical care.  

When we met with our oncologist on Tuesday, he greeted us with good news regarding more pathology results.  Without going into medical jargon that I barely understood, the results are as follows:

1.  The cancer is bad luck — not environmental, and they’re 95% certain that it’s not genetic.  From this we may also conclude that children are not likely to deal with this.

2.  The cancer was growing at 50% which is an ideal number for they type and dose of the current chemo plan.  In short, if the cancer is growing too slowly, the chemo won’t find it as easily, and if it’s growing too fast, it may not kill it fast enough.  50% is literally the best possible outcome. 

3.  I am immunopositive for CDX2 - good marker of mature colon lining.   5 year survival rates are much, much higher if a person is immunopositive.  The results of this study just came out in January!  

We left that meeting with our spirits high.  

The meals have been amazing, and they will continue to serve us the remainder of chemo.  I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but at the beginning of the year, David and I discuss our goals for our marriage, kids, etc.  One thing that both of us felt called to was hospitality to our friends and neighbors.  Oh, the irony!   The jokes on us.  We have been so blessed by your hospitality, your concern, your care, and your prayers.  

Speaking of prayers, I am humbled and honored to be praying for you, your loved ones, and your intentions.  Since the start of chemo, I have been asked to pray for a huge variety of requests.  On chemo days, I get blood work, see the doctor and staff, then finally go to the infusion room (it is an all-day affair).  When David and I are seated in the infusion room, and we have a few minutes to ourselves, we turn our attention to your needs and prayers.  We begin by saying this prayer:

O my God, We thank you for this cross you have allowed us to carry.  Please give us the strength and faith to persevere so that we may bring glory to your name while withstanding the burden of its weight.  Thank you for offering us a share in your suffering. We know that you have always been, are now, and ever will be, at our side every step of the way.  Thank you also for every “Simon” that you have sent to help us bear this cross.  We have prayed so often that this thorn in our flesh would be removed, but we trust that your grace is sufficient.  Change our hearts troubled cry of “How long, O Lord?” into words of trust “However long, O Lord”.  May we seek only to do your will and to unite our sufferings with your passion.  Help us to not get lost in our own self concerns, but may we find in these trials a way to greater virtue, a call to prayer, and a path to trust in you alone.  Permit us not to waste our pain, but to make of these struggles a sacrificial offering for others.  Lord, when we are weary and we fall, exhausted under the weight of this cross, please give us the courage to press on as you did.  Lord Jesus, we embrace with love our cross, as a share in your own.  By your grace, may we carry it all the way to the vision of your glory.  We abandon ourselves totally to your will.  Christ Jesus, we trust in you.  Amen.

I randomly found that on a prayer card at my parents house when I was writing down many of your intentions.  After we say it, then we pray for each of you by name.  One thing that has been remarkable for me to hear is how you have shared with me when a prayer request has been “fulfilled.”  To see your joy in the midst of your own struggles has been a real light to me.  I love that I am able to offer prayers of thanksgiving to what was a prior prayer of petition - jobs acquired, healthy pregnancies,  and so much more.  Many requests have not gone as expected - death in the family, sick children, surgeries required, cancers galore.  

I wanted to share with y’all a tidbit from Fr. Mike Schmitz’s podcast from March 13th called “It’s nothing personal: Dryness and Difficulties.”  At the end of it, he discusses discouragement.  I wanted to share with you some of his words (slightly edited for readability).

Here’s what Fr. Mike had to say about our wounds.

“We also have our own wounds… But sometimes God lets you endure the discouragement [and the wounds].  He lets you live with it.  Why?  Sometimes it’s those discouragements that leads you to him more than ever.  I know this is how God got my heart.  It wasn’t through my amazing awesomeness, it wasn’t through success or achievement.  It was through my wounds.  And through my being discouraged with my own wounds that God said, I’m not going to give you healing.  I don’t want your healing, I want your heart.  God allowed me to experience certain wounds because he doesn’t want my healing, he wants my heart.  God says to St. Paul, my grace is sufficient for you.  You live with this wound because my power is made perfect in your weakness.  I want your heart more than I want your healing.”  

Full podcast HERE.

I want to end there, but wanted to say one more thing.  Thank you for journeying with us and for your continual flow of prayers.  The mystical Body of Christ is a beautiful thing to be cherished!

Love to all!

Kate and Dave