In our Fathers house there are many many…nothings?

Katie has just gone in for surgery to repair her bowel block.  This should be a relatively minor surgery and will enable her to eat food and start getting her nutrition back.  Please pray for the wisdom and skill of her surgeons and surgical team.   

She wrote this last night and wanted me to share it with you while she is in surgery.  

From Kate:

There is a lot that has gone “wrong” on this road.  I won't go into details, but the fact of the matter is, I have a very aggressive cancer and at this point in the juncture we don’t know what treatment options look like (for a lot of reasons that I won’t bore you with on here, but some really cool science stuff).

As David and I were talking tonight, I was telling him about something that came to mind in prayer - that I am nothing.

Katie, whachoo talkin?  Those IV drugs doing strange things to your brain. Lemmee asplain.  

In the past I have read works from the saints where they mention that they are “nothing,” “dirt,” as Fr. Margil said “la misma nada.”  If I weren’t in the hospital tonight, I would be searching through all of my saint books at home to come up with accurate quotes, but believe me, it’s a thing.  I never understood where they were coming from. I always though 'Wow - that’s humility taken too far.'  God made you.  You aren’t “nothing.”  You are His greatest creation.  Get off of the ground, you great creation, you.  

I am now beginning to understand it.  In this life, all that matters is what brings God glory.  Read that again.  That’s it sisters and brothers.

For members of a religious order, your rule is very clearly spelled out, and living by that rule is for the purpose of glorifying God.  As a member of the religious, you tend to have less attachments.  They include: what you eat for lunch, what your daily tasks look like, when to wake up in the morning. This lack of attachment ultimately gives you the freedom to go where God sends you.  Another town from your family, another state, across the world, in a war-torn country, or to your martyrdom. 

As a member of a religious order how much more can you live that motto out - that everything is for the greater glory of God - Ad Majorem dei Gloriam - the motto of St. Ignatius of Loyola and his Jesuits.  We would naturally conclude that it is easier to live that when you do not have the attachments of a spouse, family, home, etc.  Consequently, how much easier is it to know you are nothing, but God’s instrument.

But what about me?  Wife.  Mother of 4 under the age of 6.  How do I live this motto of everything being for the Glory of God?  

Do I do it like all of those grandiose Saints of the Church - that was pretty grand stuff for your glory, God.  Like Saint Catherine of Siena who, at the age of 29, told the Pope to bring the papacy back to Rome.  All you have to do is read about one quarter of John Paul the Great’s life to see all the grand things he accomplished in his life for the Glory of God.  Saint Helen, Saint Maria Gorretti, Saint Paul, Saint Kateri (read her story if you don’t know it already), and the man we are asking you all to ask the intercession of - Fr. Antonio Margil de Jesus.  I am still learning more about him and am floored by this man’s testimony.  Truly heroic lives of virtue.

So, then there’s us, little people walking on our paths. Ok let’s see here, we made 4 PB&J’s which at least one of our kids will take one bite of and throw it on the ground.  In my house, at this point, his only choice is nap or a dirty pb&j (because I have 4 kids - my floor ain’t clean).  Back to our days, we made them make their beds, some of us are doing homework with our kids, making a dinner that we know at least one will never like and not eat.  On a good day 50% are happy.  I could type more but you can see how this is sounding less and less like our beloved saints.

How do we do this all for the glory of God.  I’ve had over 9 years of learning to be a wife and 6 learning how to mother.  Not a lot of years in the grand scheme of things, but lots of lessons learned.  We can make it for the glory of God just because we said so and we did it with an attitude of understanding that growing a family is not in the big moments, but in these small moments and how we respond to each of the situations by offering them to God.  That is how we will grow our own little saints.  Also, in her wisdom, the Church gives moms a lot of really cool saints to admire. 

But how does this lead to being “nothing”?  I am at a point in my life where I am flirting a little closer with death (which is why we are praying for a miracle), and finally it hits me.  I am nothing.  I am a pawn put on this earth to bring Glory to God. How do I come to terms with being nothing?  Doesn’t that sound like a terrible thing to say in my line of work?  But here’s the deal, if my only goal is to glorify God, then I am truly nothing, but His.  Wholly His. 

If it is for his Glory that I live and raise my four children to love and follow God, then may it be for His Glory.  And if it is for his glory that this I meet him at His Heavenly Banquet (Lord willing), then may it be for His Glory.  

Donations

Friends -

Many have asked how they can help, and our family has mentioned that they've had many friends and family ask if we're going to reopen the YouCaring site.  I have created a new fundraiser on YouCaring with a goal of $10,000 under the title Katie Garcia - Fight On.  This should cover our medical expenses for the 2017, and anything leftover would go to our family.

Thank you in advance for your generosity.  We love you, and may God Bless you abundantly.

YouCaring - Katie Garcia - Fight On

Procedure

Quick Update

Kate mentioned in last night's post that she was having a procedure to provide some relief today.  She is out is doing well.  We're back in her room and she's resting comfortably.

The procedure was a right nephrostomy.  I'm sure you can use google, but the short of it is that they placed a tube through her back into her right kidney so that it can drain into a bag.  There is a tumor interfering with her right ureter (tube between kidney and bladder).  The ureter should appear on a CT scan as a very thin tube; Katie's right one looked like a balloon.  Her left one is fine and drains into the bladder normally.  We expect that the right one was causing some discomfort, so hopefully this procedure relieves some of her lower right back pain.

Thank you all so much for your prayers last night.  All the notes, comments, emails, and texts that you were praying are so humbling.  We know there are people all over the world praying for Katie.  We continue to pray that Venerable Fr. Antonio Margil intercedes with God to hear the prayers of His people and grant us a miraculous cure for Katie's cancer.

David

Intercession

This post is from Kate.

Tonight we are asking you to cover me in prayer at 8pm CST. Brothers and sisters, I am at a point where I am in desperate need of prayer. We cannot start chemo, which is, at this point, my first line of defense against these rapidly growing tumors, until I am at a much higher level of functionality. Being hospitalized and all, we can see that I am not ready for the rigorous demands of chemo.  How do we get me there?  Eating, walking, pain relief.  We already have one procedure scheduled for tomorrow that will begin to offer some relief.  Here's the kicker - I have developed another kink in my bowels due to the fact that one of the tumors is applying pressure on it, and I am at a point where I am not eating again.

My brothers and sisters, our God asks us to be bold in prayer. With desperation and boldness we unashamedly ask for a miracle of the complete healing of my body from cancer. Why not?  

We were introduced to Venerable Father Antonio Margil de Jesus through our friend, Elizabeth. He was one of the first Franciscan friars who came to the New World in 1863.  For over thirty years he spread the word of God and brought thousands of souls into the Light of Christ through the Sacraments.  He arrived in Texas at the age of fifty-eight.

There is a spring in Lanana Creek in Nacadoches, Texas that is attributed to him. This water has provided healing for others who have asked for his intercession consumed it. I have been consuming this water in hope of a miracle.

Here is the prayer for his intercession: 

Heavenly Father, who planted in the heart of your servant Father Antonio Margil, an intense preoccupation to save souls, grant us the grace of his intercession (For the complete healing of Katie’s body so that she is free of cancer) so that we may encounter the admirable work that you started in him, and so that we may be lifted with Christ to bring Salvation to our fellow brothers.  Amen.

Tonight, we are asking you to reach the highest point in heaven with clamoring prayer for God’s will to be done in my life, for His glory.  And we pray that His will is to heal my body of all cancer.  

We are also asking the intercession of Matt Coles and Paul Coakley - two incredible men who lost their battles to cancer.

Thank you for your prayers.  We love you, and may God bless you. 

Admitted

Quick update -

Thank you all so much for your prayers.  God has certainly blessed us over the past few hours.

Our initial ER doc was... not a great listener.  He got the ball rolling with urology, but didn't hear us that we had other concerns - namely her pain and digestion.  Urology is planning to do a procedure to help Katie's right kidney drain properly (a tumor is pressing on one of tubes).  This could be done outpatient, but since we're here, they would 'admit for observation', which is different than admitting to he hospital proper.  They would do the procedure, make sure it worked, then send her on her way. This is where God apparently decided to step in.

Katie happened to notice the doctor who had treated her when we came to the ER back in February roaming outside her ER room (Dr. C, if you recall from my first post).  I didn't mention at the time that she was a real source of hope and peace.  Back in February, when I brought Katie in, she was in rough shape - vomiting and writhing in extreme pain, and we had taken a leap of faith by coming to MDA without having been a prior patient there.  By all rights, MDA could have told Hermann that Katie was their problem and they needed to fix her.  Within about 2 minutes of meeting us, she assured us that they had seen Kate's symptoms hundreds of times and are able and ready to help.  Later, when it was still in question about whether Katie would be allowed to stay at MDA after they'd stabilized her, Dr. C stopped in to mention casually that patients have the right to refuse transfer, which we did.

So when we saw her this evening, we flagged her down to thank her for all she did for us back then, with no other agenda.  She asked how Katie was doing and began to ask more pointed medical questions.  Within a couple minutes, she decided to place orders for a CT scan without contrast ( because Katie couldn't possibly drink that stuff right now) to check for a blockage.  She also placed an order for a nutritionist to meet with us in the morning, she added a few medications to Katie's approved list, and she gave us her card with her direct line.  As she was leaving, she assured us that she'd be praying for us.

Apparently God was just warming up.

Katie was transferred to her room in the hospital.  We expected the same kind of room as before, but this room is much nicer - more recently renovated it seems.  I get an actual real live bed to sleep in (its a murphy bed) instead of a chair that folds flat and spends all night mocking your back with false hopes of comfortable sleep.  The room is quieter and better laid out than our February room.  The nursing staff is very nice, and many of them are Catholic.

And now for the kicker.

After getting settled, I went out to the car to get my pillow and blankets (I had run home to tuck the kids in and had gotten some stuff).  I was also meeting our good friend Tricia who was delivering some holy water and St. Peregrine oil.  We chatted as I walked to the car and back, and while we were finishing our conversation in the hospital lobby, we spotted a Catholic priest walking out.  I flagged him down and asked if he had time to give Katie a blessing.  He agreed cheerfully.  On the way, assuming he was the chaplain assigned to MDA, I asked if perhaps he could come back the next day for the Anointing of the Sick.  The sacrament requires a couple things that (to my knowledge) most priests don't carry around with them all the time - The Holy Eucharist and Anointing Oil.  He said, "I do now.  I have the Lord with me."  Turns out he's not the chaplain here - he was visiting a friend who is dying.  He performed the sacrament and Katie and I were both able to receive the Eucharist.  What a blessing and source of strength.

The CT scan was performed this evening, and we'll get results tomorrow.

Thank you again for your prayers.  Please continue, and may God's blessings be on you.

Back In The U.S., Back In The U.S., Back in the U.S. ER

Merry Christmas!  We hope that everyone had an amazing weekend filled with family and celebrating the birth of our Lord.  

We’d like to keep you updated with what’s going on with us.  We didn’t mention Katie’s symptoms last time, so now might be a good time to fill you in as background to where we are now (which is the ER - more on that later). 

Katie started to notice some abdominal pain and decreased appetite in late October, which set us off on a journey to find the cause.  Of course our first fear was cancer so we spoke to the oncologist, who didn’t think it looked like cancer based on her symptoms and the clear scan she had in September.  Over the next few weeks, her symptoms continued to worsen - more abdominal pain, decreased appetite, nerve pain, back pain.  The weekend after Thanksgiving, she was in a lot of pain and wasn’t able to move from the chair in the den except to go to bed or the bathroom.  We went to see a gastroenterologist, her OB, and a neurologist.  The GI doc ordered a study to see if her intestines were working properly (they were), the OB ordered an ultrasound (it was clear), and the neurologist found evidence of nerve damage and nerve pain and ordered an MRI to get a better look at her nerves and rule out recurrence of her cancer.  The MRI found “a 4.5 cm cystic mass” in her abdomen near the site of the original surgery.  With these results, the neurologist referred us back to our oncologist, who ordered a CT scan, which showed the results I mentioned last time - tumors in her abdomen, and small tumors in her lungs and liver, which is defined as Stage IV metastatic appendiceal cancer.

Since Thanksgiving, Katie has basically been unable to do much except sit in the chair in the den, and walk to the bed or the bathroom.  Her pain has continued to increase, though some of the pain meds the doctors have prescribed help some.  

We met with the surgeon, pain doc, and oncologist last week.  The surgeon said that she doesn’t recommend surgery, but she wants us to meet with a surgeon who specializes in Appendiceal cancer to confirm.   The pain doc prescribed some new pain medication, which makes her pretty sleepy and doesn’t help much.  The oncologist wanted her to start chemo on Thursday Dec 29 (FOLFIRI, or perhaps just the FIRI, which is irinotecan). 

Since we found out that it is cancer, Katie has been trying to eat more and get stronger in preparation for chemo.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked out that way.  She has been struggling to eat, but over Christmas she hit a wall.  She’s been unable to eat many calories at all for the past few days, the pain has continued to increase, and her digestion isn’t where it needs to be.  There are other symptoms, but the net of it is that we brought her in to the ER today to get her symptoms under control and see what we can do to get her on a path to being strong enough for chemo.  As Kate said: “We have to get the symptoms of cancer under control before we can worry about the side effects from chemo”.

Thank you all so much for your prayers - please continue.  Please pray for Katie - for relief from her symptoms and for a clear path towards getting stronger so she can fight this disease.  Please pray for our children, our family who is taking care of the kids, and for me.  

We love you, and may God bless you this Christmas season.  

Hard News

There’s no easy way to share this, or if there is, we haven’t found it.  We’ve been calling our family for the past day to tell them, and saying the words doesn’t get any easier no matter how many times you tell them.  If you are finding out here and think we should have called you instead, please accept our apology.

Katie’s cancer has returned, and it has spread.  There is a large (4-5cm) tumor in her lower right abdomen, and they see a few spots in both the liver and lungs.  I may go into how it was discovered in a later post, but for now it’s not important.  

We found out Friday morning and are scheduled to meet with a number of doctors this week to better understand what we’re dealing with and develop a game plan.  The big appointments are the surgeon on Monday and the oncologist on Thursday.  I expect to have additional information to share after each of those.  When he called to give us the news Friday,  the oncologist mentioned chemotherapy as a certainty and that there may be other non-surgical therapies to explore as well.  

Our family is rallying around us, and I’m sure many of you will be asking how you can help.  Thank you in advance.  I’m sure there will be a time when we ask for your help in more concrete ways, but for now the biggest thing you can do is pray.  

Please pray that God heals her by whatever means He chooses.  Pray for her strength to battle this disease and to approach each day with hope.  Pray for the wisdom and compassion of her doctors and all medical staff who treat her.  Pray for our children.  Pray for our parents, siblings, and extended family.  And please pray for me - I’ll need all the prayers I can get.  

Earlier this year, we were overwhelmed by your generosity in time, in prayers, and in sharing your treasure with us.  Some of you specifically mentioned that you hoped we could use some of the money for a family trip after chemo, and we were able to do just that.  In mid October, we spent a week in Yosemite National Park, California.  We chose Yosemite in part because it is close to my sister and her family, who live outside of San Francisco.  We had initially planned to spend a couple days with them and then go to Yosemite, but decided instead for them to come join us in Yosemite for a couple nights.  It was amazing.  If you haven't been, you should put it on your list.  It is the most beautiful place I've ever visited, and I imagine it's got to be top 5 in the world.  I've included a small handful of photos from that trip at the bottom.  Thank you so much for giving our family that gift.  

We’d also like to share with you some words that Katie wrote recently.  This was mostly written before we received word that her cancer had returned and spread, but we think it still applies, perhaps now more than before.  

- David

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This was actually going to be our Christmas letter, but as it turns out, I don’t think I’ll have time to mail it out, given our recent circumstances.  

To say that we are incredibly blessed and filled with gratitude is the understatement of the century.

Here’s some recent history.  In September of 2015, part of our roof failed, and our house flooded.  In November, after we had just gotten back in the house, David’s car was totaled by an uninsured motorist.  In February 2016, Katie was diagnosed with stage III appendiceal cancer.  It’s so rare, that spell check assumes the word is misspelled.  

We didn’t mention the house flooding to many in the past, or the totaled car.  But I mention it now. I bring it up to let you know how rough life can be.  We’ve been through the ringer. The other day David said “If we knew 10 years ago what we know now (changes in jobs, cars, 4 kids in 5 years, and everything else), we never would have A. believed that would be possible, and B. that we would have survived it.  But lo and behold, we are here.

Advent and Christmas are my favorite time of year.  It is the beginning of the most important time in our history.  It allowed us to hope.  It opened the way of our salvation.  Stay alert!  Be ready!  Our God is coming to save us!  Such strong words - It’s no wonder people expected Christ to come as a warrior ready to act.  And yet, and yet, he came to us so humbly and quietly. 

Life is such a gift - I know we hear that all the time, but our lives are held in existence because God is continually holding us in existence - his love is what keeps us here, it’s what gives us eternity, and it’s his love that gave us his only Son.  

Advent offers us joy in the midst of a penitential season.  Have you ever thought of that?  We have Gaudete Sunday in the middle of a time in the Church when she is asking you to offer some things up.  For we cannot experience joy without the struggle.

Stay alert!  Be ready!  It’s no surprise that a cancer diagnosis was a major blow.  And here we are again - begging for God’s grace and healing.  We have to continue to believe that God gives us what we need and more.  His generosity will not, can not be outdone.  He showered us with generosity through you - through your prayers, your donations, your meals, your words of wisdom, your embrace.  We are asking you once again, to cover our family in prayer.  As we celebrate the birth of Christ, let us be filled with hope - hope that I am healed, but more importantly hope that God’s will is fulfilled.  Come Holy Spirit, Thy will be done.  That is my prayer.